Royal Milan & Bordighera H³ Newsletter March 3, 1998

From:    Simon "Safe SoX" Brickle  sbrickle@poboxes.com
Date:    Tue 3 Mar 1998 11:28:46 +0000
Subject: #765


Corrigenda Bibione: 

From:    "Robert Walker"
To:      rmd@msoft.it
Date:    Fri, 27 Feb 1998 19:55:07 +0100
Subject: Re: Deliberate Mistake

I don't know whether it was you or me, but in both the fax and the E Mail you
have put my telephone number instead of my fax number! My fax is 02 6783308.
[as they say Bwana, rubbish in, rubbish out ... Td]

The other thing is definitely my mistake as I copied it from last year.  Butrio
is on Friday, but in a few places it has been referred to as Thursday. I don't
know if you have sent out this flier yet,[yes Td] but have a look anyway. This
was picked up by our independent auditor (Rough Knight). I haven't looked yet.
We wouldn't be real hashers if we sent things out right first time!

On On
Bwana


#765     9 March Monday Bunny Night Hash start 7:30 pm

The Monday night run on 9 March will be in honour of all our lovely harriettes
in celebration of the Festa delle Donne. Seeing as its such a special occasion
Barbara Kittel is opening up her Austrian restaurant to us and offering a great
meal. We'll be meeting at 19:30 at Restaurant Servus at Via Cagnola, 6 (3360
3003) which is near the Arco della Pace at Parco Sempione. The meal will
include an antipasto, a choice of pasta or goulash soup, spareribs, apple
strudel and water and wine. For the veggies there will be a vegetarian strudel.
Cost is Lit.  30.000. To give her an idea of numbers, contact No Grappa or
Tonedeaf, preferably by Friday. (No Grappa: QUINND@TOWERS.COM or 02 863921 (w)
or 02 809 753 (fax))

Not showing up will be taken as a personal insult by all harriettes.

On On

No Grappa

Booking is advised if you want to eat at Barbara's. A list of nearby pizzeria's
will be available if you don't.
Tonedeaf

#764 Sunday 1 March '98 St David's Day (Daffy) Hash. 

Hare Dai Berry (with No Grappa and a none too slightly rat-arsed Paint Stripper
co-ersed at 2:30 that same morning!).

A pretty remarkable hash considering the principal hare had never ever been on
a hash before (although he told me he often organised rugby games and car
rallies ... what the connection is, does anyone know?), set the trail then
missed it, leaving it in the culpable hands of aformentioned party animals, to
go home and look after his feverish offspring. Only three days prior I deduced
from a frantic phone call by a worried Flight 69 that Dai hadn't fully grasped
what hashing was about. This was self evident on learning of a 9am prompt start
so the unspecified lunch could be gotten out of the way in time for church.
Confessions are unlikely if you have an RA with a beady eye who should already
know the misdemeanors you have done.

Sunday 11:50, and in glorious sunshine, Safe Sox led the pack off in search of
the beerstop "at a cemetery which was 1/3 around the trail from the start" we
learned from our jovial "never say die" instead of the usual 1/3 from the
finish. After 400 metres the front runners faltered and the Sunday strollers
panted a sigh of relief on seeing the local cemetery, then a cry of dispair
followed on finding no supermarket trolley (a.k.a. Paint Stripper's Fiat Panda
mobile beerstop). Having driven 1,200 kms from Milan to Magnarp, Sweden and
back with 20 cases of Nasty Azzuro surely it could just manage to crawl around
the corner? No Paris Gendarmes about so it couldn't have been mistaken for the
white citroen connected with that other Di? However, an hour and a half later,
and unknowingly never straying more than a mile away from the start / finish on
a "text book" trail, we found the correct cemetery more by smell of the beer
than dead-reckoning and entered the On-Inn with trepidation, wondering what
change there would be out of Lit 25,000 for food once we had drunk the
obligatory litre of wine per head that Dai had negotiated! Well not to worry
much with antipasta, pasta (2 choices), primo (six choices including steak)
with mixed salad, jockies, caffe and a bottle of grappa to pass around! (eat
your Swiss heart out Likk'mm.) For the bits in between ... the Down-Downs speak
for themselves :-

Milestones : #25 Tankard for Safe Sox, #0 (zero runs) Stein with holes for
Dai.

Wimpy Walkers who never even made the first cemetery: Iron Bum ("but I've still
got the plaster on from Argentiere" ... so what?), Chestnut (claimed she is
Iron Bum's personal wet-nurse), Flight 69 (no excuse proferred, but was
obviously still fazed from Sue's B'day party, on-going until that very
morning).

Chivalry: Paint Stripper for assisting La Chiave into or over a river.

Hashy B'day: Sue and Fragrant Pussy.

Taffy Day: All the Welshies (Dai and 4 out of 5 offspring).

Flower Power: Flight 69 (very ro-Bust looking Daffodil down cleavage). S&M
(wearing 60's hippy clothes at 2am although maybe it should have gone to
Bloomin' 'eck for not giving her any house-keeping allowance for 30 years).

Leek on the Welsh trail: Ian (nominated by Brian who got caught for similar
leak last monday on Ian's trail).

Unusual Calls: Safe Sox (our Trail Master demonstrating the way of the true
trail and appropriate call by advancing safely between two gorse bushes,
tripping headlong sideways and calling "on-on .....AAAHH").

Hash-Shit: No Grappa by short-cutting the remaining WWW (wimps, wankers and
weans) 1 km longer than the true trail.

Bar-Jumping : Tonedeaf, although was more of a penalty try as Paint Stripper
illegally prevented him from actually going over the line.

FRB: Rhees Berry for asking JM Twice Nightly "what does the winner get?".
Answer : a loan of the FRB medallion until he (number one and 14 year old son
of Dai) finished his 1/2 litre of beer down-down. A mere 2.5 seconds of fame
for this born hasher.

Golden Chicken Award: Down-Down from the inside of Plastic Chicken to Paint
Stripper for being in charge of White Fang's dog Freddie, our incumbent,
reliable and revered GM (Grand Mutt), when a gaggle of geese and a guard dog
saw him off while leading the other hash-hounds after farmer Marrone's
chickens. (Question: Should the CHICKEN award be permanently re-assigned to our
previous GM Bwana for his pilgrimages to KIEV in the land of vodka, looking for
his rough and Red-dy Knight?) Also Twice Nightly con-currently with Paint
Stripper for claiming Molly wasn't his dog but that of his Valentine ..
Fragrant Pussy .. who waited patiently outside the circle, concurring that she
was satisfied for "it" to be Twice Nightly.

Secondary Down-Down: Local Knowledge. Nice to see Alistair back after 18 months
away. Pity he forgot not to stand behind someone who can't drink their
down-down thus copping the lot.

Hares : Dai. PS & NG

Closing Circle Abuse: Giuseppe

Gus (R.I.P.)

Tone Deaf

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