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Royal Milan & Bordighera H³ NewsletterMarch 24, 1998 |
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Royal Milan & Bordighera H³ NewsletterMarch 24, 1998 |
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From: Duff Robin < rmd@msoft.it >
Date: Tue Mar 24 11:07:39 1998
Subject: #769
#769 Monday 6 April '98. Venue: Piazzale Martini, in front of Farmacia (only
one on Piazza). Prompt start. at 7:30 p.m.
Sparky Parking Horizontal.
On On.
Hashing in Harare
(or: Home Alone, with Bwana)
v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^
The Excuse
I have often been accused of skiving-off lately and neglecting my sacred duty
to RMBH3 by hanging around home in Africa, Switzerland and other non-descript
places. A curious fact that not many people are aware of (or give a dam
anyway) is that I am actually spending so much time here, in the land of wops
and dagos (Italy), and that I never hash with Harare H3 when I am at home. This
year I decided that to keep the balance I would run on the H4 Xmas Hash, and
as a penance to RMBH3 I have done a run report to show that I wasn't just
wasting my time round the swimming pool. For those (most) Milan hashers who
don't know where or what Harare is, or Italians who are wondering how to cook
it, I will start with a little definition.
Harare: s. m. 1. Capital of the Southern African Republic of Zimbabwe,
cultural center of the world, fashion mecca of the universe, home of beautiful
people. A great place to live and work (no, really...) 2. adj.( -- Hash
House Harriers) First word of the name of the renowned Zimbabwe chapter of the
world famous running club, who meet every Monday in -- for exercise, alcoholic
imbibement and generally silly behaviour. (No I did not make this up. Its
written on a Harare H3 T-shirt)
Now the Run Report.
The H4 Christmas Hash met at 3.pm on Monday 22nd December. I arrived just in
time, to find 6 hashers sitting at a roadside bar leisurely starting a beer.
Half an hour later about 30 hashers had gathered, including visitors from
Zambia, Botswana, Malawi and USA as well as Milan. I realised how long had
passed since I had hashed at home as I didn't know anyone at all!
The Off
At about 3.45 the hare suggested that perhaps we should think about starting
the hash, as we were all anxious to get to the On On. We were all handed
Father Christmas hats to wear, and the run finally started with a trot across
the main road and into a leafy residential area. The pack immediately divided
into walkers and runners. The runners were quite fit, but the walkers made it
quite obvious that they had no intention of disturbing their festive spirit
with anything remotely energetic. One couple pushed a baby walker all the way
round, but so gently did they progress that the baby never awoke, or knew that
he had left the car-park!
The trail was marked in sadza (polenta), Zimbabwe's national dish. I don't know
what the poorer Zimbabweans think of this prolific use of food , which they
would have gladly eaten to supplement their Christmas dinner, but the hash
has never pretended to any political sensitivity!
After about 20 minutes with quite a few long false trails that kept the walkers
and runners together, the trail left the road and went into a vlei. Vlei's are
a distinctive feature of Harare. They are natural marshy, green pans that are
attractive as public areas and perfect for hashing.
The Vlei
We now spent a lot of collective energy running round on various false trails
and "On On "s could be heard from every corner of the vlei, some of them very
far apart. Just as one group, of which I was a part, found a very good trail
right in the middle of the vlei the majority of the pack started running
determinedly towards the perimeter and were soon a good kilometre away from
us. Our leader, a local regular, advised us to stay put as he was sure that we
were right and that the others were on a loop or a falsie and would return.
As the main group disappeared into the distance another small bunch picked up a
trail ahead of us in the opposite direction and they also stopped and began
shouting occasionally to attract our attention. This went on for a long time
and caused quite a lot of amusement to some locals sleeping under a nearby
tree. Anyway, both groups had decided it was much too hot to do anything
energetic so we held our ground in the vlei.
I think in Italy it would have been called a "Gran Casino", but as I was a
visitor I felt it would have been inappropriate to comment!
Twenty minutes later, after running a large part of the trail without us the
main pack did reappear, which sort of justified our decision to wait. They
were running straight towards us, so we made a collective decision that to
avoid abuse we would run ahead of them to unite with the other vlei group. It
turned out that the other group knew exactly where the trail went because they
were standing on an "On In" sign! They had been calling us because they really
wanted to go back to the beer, but they didn't have the key of the beer wagon!
We again decided that discretion was better than valour, and beer was better
than either and we sprinted home, just ahead of the main pack, for a well
deserved cold beer. A mighty run which had lasted 45 minutes in total, of
which my group had participated for about 25! No one was complaining though, it
was the middle of the festive season and last night's hangovers were still
quite apparent in some quarters!
The Beer!
The Harare hash really comes into its own at the beer wagon. A super-efficient
On Sex takes your names while handing out ice cold beer from a trailer attached
to the GM's Landrover while an equally efficient Hash $ collects a ridiculously
small run fee, which is halved if you say that you don't drink beer. Nobody
checks, its an honesty system. I of course, being a life-long teetotaller, told
the truth. All magnificent, and right in the middle of a big car park perfect
for the circle! Not so fast....this is Africa! the circle, was to be at the
GM's house, about 20 km away on the other side of town. I was already late for
a family gathering so what the hell, of course I went to the On On.
The Circle
I must say, it was worth it. I know that RMBH3 hold the best circles in the
world, but H4 come a pretty good second. To open the proceedings the RA, a
bearded Uncle Sam type Yank, stripped to reveal a woman's swimming costume,
complete with appropriate padding. Two large blocks of ice were produced, and
two girls accused of absconding to Mozambique instead of attending the last
hash were made to sit on them.. They were only allowed up when the impression
of their bottoms in the ice was to the RA's satisfaction. (NB. this
punishment is NOT applicable for GM's on justifiable leave to Africa!!)
The circle continued with several down-downs for visiting hashers, as well as
severe punishment for the dawdlers in the Vlei. My memory becomes rather hazy
at this point, but I thought I remembered a photo call with the RA (and of
course another DD) just to prove to certain parties that I do sometimes hash at
home in Harare. This part must have been true as the photo arrived in the post
yesterday, and very embarassing it is too! I also remember some excellent home
cooking and a call for the circle to be moved to the swimming pool so more
exciting punishments could be handed out! I wisely avoided this as I don't
think I would have floated well by that time, so I reluctantly left the H4
hashers, who are one of the most friendly packs you could meet, and returned
to my sister's house only 2 hours late for dinner.
The End
On On
Bwana
..............................................................................
Tonedeaf is incommunicado to non-underground dwellers, verbally until #768
Orta (E-mail until Monday 30 March '98 for 30 mins) then until Friday 10
April '98.
Going down, down. Will acknowledge this weeks Bibione bookings ASAP on Monday.
Tonedeaf
..............................................................
Hares and venues require. To book a trail contact Simon"Safe SoX"Brickle
direct :- sbrickle@poboxes.com
02-4120797 Home
02-43887948 Work
0347-4325214 Cellular
Hare-Line as at 13/3/98 :-
Saturday 28 March'98 Hares Bwana & Rough Knight in Orta.
Monday 6/4 Horizontal car-park. Farmacia, Pzza Martini (MI)
Monday 13/4 Hares & venue required
Saturday 18/4 Hares & venue required
Monday 26/4 Hares & venue required
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